Year In Review

The year is quickly coming to an end and it's time to take a look at the final progress of my resolutions for 2013.

1. Lose 1 pound per week.
Status: incomplete.
I started out working hard on this one, but eventually put it on the back-burner because I stopped caring. I can dig a little deeper about this later.

2. Make a better effort to communicate with family and friends.
Status: ongoing (but technically incomplete)
This was a half-hearted effort to begin with, especially because I didn't know where to start (and it takes two). I'm still trying!  Unfortunately, this was not truly a measureable goal, so I set myself up for failure.

3. Plan a road trip.
Status: complete!
I now live in the city I road-tripped to, so I hope that's not cheating!  I'm planning another for 2014.

4. Try something new once a month.

January: New club orientation (that I didn't join)

February: Knitting... I quit after severely messing up the scarf I was working on.
March: Yoga (I went twice, despite having an unlimited pass)
April: New food, among other things.
May: Many things, but most importantly, shopping at IKEA.
June: Super secret stuff! Seriously, I can't write about it.
July: Late night fun on the beach with camp friends.
August: Tragis piercing!
September: Dogs!
October: A show in Las Vegas (Shania at Caesar's Palace!).
November: Getting a roommate...aka my boyfriend moved in with me.
December: Swanky food event in the Bellagio at Yellowtail.  I don't even like Japanese food and I think I might have consumed Mayo...

Yellowtail event at the Bellagio

5. Write for fun at least once a week.
Status: incomplete
The blog was working out for a while, but I became busier throughout the course of the year and kinda gave up.  I want to continue through 2014 with my new resolutions because it was fun.

Whew!  2/5 resolutions isn't so great, I guess, but I'm mostly happy with what I did this year.  The highlight of my year was my summer.  I ended up getting the Senior Resident Assistant position and really had a great time in Santa Cruz.  I'm excited to see what 2014 brings!

Something New for September

Ever since this summer, I haven't really been keeping track of my resolutions.  Now that I have a career, I haven't been making time for anything else.  My house is a mess, I'm not the least bit active, and I'm not really talking to anyone outside of my relationship or work.  Earlier last week I had a little bit of a revelation that I need to force myself to stop thinking about work all of the time, so I did something crazy.

I had a really bad day last Thursday.  It was ridiculous.  So, after work, I drove to the NSPCA with intentions of walking dogs and feeling good.  Unfortunately, the NSPCA doesn't let you walk around the kennels anymore and I wasn't really getting a great vibe, so I left and went to my local animal shelter (a.k.a. the pound) where I thought maybe I would feel more comfortable.  I met a lot of sweet dogs and ended up adopting 2.  Yeah....  They come home on Tuesday (they were/are going to be spayed & neutered), so I'll post pictures when I can.

Also, my something new for September?  I went to the European Wax Center near my home and got waxed yesterday.  It was the most painful experience of my life so far; nothing has ever hurt as much as being waxed.

Catch-up

Here's my resolution progress:

1.  I haven't focused on this resolution one bit.  There was a six-week period where I was attempting to get three squares at a dining hall because I was working at a summer camp.  Coincedentally, I had crazy bad stomach issues all summer and have just recently recovered my insides to normal.    

2.  Basically half-heartedly given up on this one.  Not intentionally; I'm just a creature of habit... One that never calls or texts.  

3.  This one has been crossed off the list since March!

4.  Let's see... This summer I have tried MANY new things.  The ones I remember off the top of my head: I pierced my tragis, moved to Las Vegas, and took serious risks that I would never publicly write about.  

5.  I have been pretty good about this, privately.

My summer is over as of last Monday and I'm ready for a regular schedule so I can focus on myself and maybe get back on track with resolution #1 (if my computer had emoticons, I'd insert a winky face).  

Fitting Room Angst

Don't ask me about my weight right now, I don't even want to think about it!

I actually just purchased some shorts on the Old Navy website because I could not find my size in stores.  I guess they only sell size 18 online, which is extra annoying because I don't want to wait.  I also tried on about 1,000 dresses at my local Old Navy today, too.  What I hate about fitting rooms is the uncomfortable interrogations that typically follow the return of the items you tried on... I mean, honestly, I usually feel horrible about myself after I try on clothes and I'd rather throw the items at the people manning the folding station than talk to them.

"Did those work out for you?"  .
"Were you unhappy with the color, size, or fit?"
"Would you like me to grab some more sizes for you?"
"What size are you wearing? We have those on that rack over there."
"I see you have some clearance items..."

Customer service-smervice.  Just ignore me and let me live my life!

My trip to Ohio is a little more than a week away and I'm caving in to my current body situation instead of living in some dream world that includes my body somehow squeezing into the size 16 shorts I have stockpiled for "someday."  It's okay.  Really!  Someday when I go home, people will talk about how much weight I've lost instead of whatever they say now (I can only imagine!).  Who cares, I'm still a good person and I still live a good life.

You really have to put life into perspective when you start to feel bad about yourself.

Something New

Well... I haven't actively singled out one thing to be my "something new."  That doesn't mean I haven't tried something new, though.  It just means I've been unorganized and loosing my drive to be a gung-ho go-getter.

To solve this problem and make myself feel better, here's a list of every possible thing I can think of that I've done this month that might be a new experience:

• went to 18 vendors for the Reno Wine Walk after visiting 17 last year
• watched Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs
• TRIED A NEW THAI RESTAURANT NEAR MY HOUSE!!! (In all-caps because I had an epiphany just now while typing)
• actually bought the things I wanted at IKEA, instead of just pining after them
• read a whole book in a 4 hour period (not a new habit, but it was a new book)
• successfully sailed many a yard in one day earlier this month
• uhhhhhhhh...........

Well, I suppose that this is probably good enough proof, right?

Bottle brushes, duvet, apron, 2 pillows, 2 pillow covers, the blue bag... IKEA!

As for the Thai place, I tried it because I was in the mood for spicy noodles and had received a recommendation from my boyfriend's mom.  I walked in, looked at the menu, and got super excited because I thought I had found a replacement for a place we love in Reno.  I placed my order and started dreaming of our awesome future because we had finally found an appropriate replacement.  I even imagined travelling to Thailand and told myself that Thai food was my favorite type of food (except it's not, Indian food is my fave!).  Then, once my order was up, I hopped into the car and tried one of the things I had ordered.  My hopes and dreams were completely crushed!  My boyfriend ended up liking the meal, but we are still on the hunt!

Excuses Why Resolution #1 Hasn't Taken Off:

1.  I hate my gym.  It's stinky, sweaty, and dirty.  They don't have cleaning supplies for patrons to wipe down the machines and I just feel down right gross sitting on a machine that some nasty, sweaty man  just finished using.  Plus, I don't like the thought of being "that girl" who carries around a bag of lysol wipes and vigorously cleans the machines before and after each use.  The employees are never, and I mean ever, cleaning anything.  One time, this chick was vacuuming the same spot for thirty minutes while watching Twilight (not even freaking kidding, ask my boyfriend!).  That is the extent of the cleaning we have witnessed.  On top of that, we've been at the gym until 8:45 p.m., 15 minutes before closing and have not witnessed a single machine being cleaned...

***Normally, I would not be such a germaphobe, but a few years ago a co-worker of mine got a staph infection from using unclean equipment at her gym.  It was freaking nasty and staph infections are pretty freaking dangerous!***

Another thing that makes me uncomfortable about Fitness 19: there are high school kids that are in there at all hours of the day having pissing contests and creepy guys that stare at chicks (the one or two who frequent).  The staff is incredibly rude and mocked me the last time I came in because I asked about my membership card (that I still not have received after joining in Jan/Feb).  All-in-all, it's hecka sketch.

My boyfriend and I are considering a switch to 24 Hour Fitness, which is a pretty big chain out west.  I just need a change and my boyfriend is being pretty supportive about that, I guess.  He is a little annoyed though that we've waited this long to switch.  Sorry!

2.  I don't want to work out outside.  Everyone can see me and judge me.  Look at that fat chick running like an idiot.  Wow, her legs must be hungry because they're practically eating those shorts.  Maybe if you didn't eat so much, you wouldn't be so fat.

I feel embarrassed when I go outside to run/walk because we live on a busy street and I feel as if I look completely stupid.  I'm especially embarrassed when I pass other runners/walkers because I feel like they're really judging me because they're always in what appears to be tip-top shape. I understand it's all in my head and the hardest part is getting out of the door each day.  Once I'm outside, I don't think too much about what other people are saying/thinking.

Also, something else that ties into #3, I don't want to announce to the whole house that I'm going to work out.  I don't want them knowing my business or judging me if I don't appear to lose weight.  I also don't want their two cents about how I should be doing this, that, and the other.

3.  I don't want to work out at home.  I'm pretty self conscious at home because my boyfriend's parents have "talked" to me (more like lectured me on shit I could read in a magazine) about my weight.  I love them, they love me; but they are know-it-alls.  I understand their interest in my well-being (because that leads to the well-being of their son, etc.), but it doesn't come off as helpful.

I am a sensitive person who wants to feel accepted.  I do not want to be mid-workout and have someone come home and watch me.  Or laugh.  Or anything at all.  I don't want to be congratulated on working out or be told, "you're looking pumped" just because I went to the gym once.  I feel like you're making fun of me and it makes me feel even more self-conscious.  If you care about me at all, don't bring it up.  Just. Don't. 

When you ask, "so how much exactly do you weigh?" and I tell you not to ask, saying "that much, huh?" is not the appropriate response.  Unless you are my doctor, or, I'm consulting you about my weight, there is no reason whatsoever that you should feel inclined to ask.  Yes, I am broadcasting my personal weight to the world via my blog, but that is a controlled environment where I feel safe.  It in no way is an invitation for anyone to make me feel any different.

4.  I'm always too tired, too busy, too... everything but motivated to work out.  Most mornings I wake up and say, "Maybe today is the day" and I dream about going out into the big, big world and actually committing to getting fit.  Oh, but I haven't had enough water.  And I'm a little too tired, I should try to get 8 hours of sleep first.  Maybe I should wait for Sean to get home?  Oh, let me just do this first.  It's too hot.  I just ate (or, I just ate a big meal).  Maybe I should eat something healthy first?  I haven't ate yet today.  All I've had are sugary snacks/sweets, I'll start over again tomorrow.  You know what, today I'll splurge, tomorrow I'll get my rear into gear.  It's okay, I'm starting a diet on Monday.  I'll work out later, I wanna watch this show first.  It's too dark/it's getting dark.

You have just read most of my excuses that I use on a daily basis.  Yes, I used tv as an excuse!  Yes, it is sad.  The best part- we have DVR!  That means I could watch my shows at any time of the day at any point of time in the week...

5.  I am not in a good mental place right now.  After typing up all this junk, I have realized that I'm not really doing myself any favors in the self-esteem department.  I'm not crazy, don't get worried by the "mental place" part of that statement!

Part of this realization comes from my ability to recognize that I've been really bitter and resentful about a lot of things in the last few years.  I'm not sure if this stems from jealousy or self-loathing of some kind, but I've noticed the change in myself and I don't like it. 

The other part comes from knowing how I feel about my body image.  I hate shopping for clothes.  I am a size 18, which is not exactly a widely available size.  I walk into a mall and think, "Maybe I'll get lucky and find something that fits."  I think my growing size these last 4.5 years explains why I've shifted from strictly pants to mostly dresses, really.  Most of the time, a dress is bigger and looser than the size on the tag, which makes me feel thinner and better about myself.  Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and think, "what happened?" and I don't know how to get back from the point that I'm at now.

_______________________________________________

BLAH!  All this negativity in one post is so yucky.  Look what I did about it:

I love using my Polar HRM!

(Almost) Mid-May Resoulution Update

1. Lose 1 pound per week.  I wouldn't say that I've lost motivation, but instead I've lost momentum.  This resolution is constantly on my mind and I'm constantly thinking about how if I would have just committed early on, I would be so proud of myself right now.  Instead I'm wallowing in remorse and sometimes that makes me a feel a little hopeless.  I feel like this resolution really deserves it's own post right now, so I'm not going to go into details. 

Starting out, I weighed 233 lbs. (that's what I've observed through the evidence in this post).  By now, I should have lost approximately 19 lbs, which would put me at 214 lbs.  I could really kick myself right now!  Whatever, get over it.  IOU: 18 lbs.

2. Make a better effort to keep in touch with family/friends.  I bought a Blue Tooth, which believe it or not, has spiked my communication with my dad and my mom.  I really like talking on the phone in the car when I'm alone (ironic, I'll explain why at a later date!), but it's too much of a hassle to hold the phone up to my ear and drive at the same time... plus, it's illegal in Nevada and California!  I don't think I'm really doing such a great job otherwise.  I don't call my friends in Ohio and my brother doesn't return my phone calls. 

I've realized that I don't like to text, which is a small problem considering that's the main mode of communication these days.  It's too time consuming and I don't want to be tied to my phone 24/7.  I just don't have the attention span for it!  I could lament by wishing my friends could understand, but I'm not exactly calling them all the time to keep in touch and demonstrate my perferred method of communication (which, actually I don't care to talk on the phone that much, either).  I don't really know what's wrong with me, to be honest.

What I'm going to do about it:  Starting today, I'm going to plan out my communication for the week with a mini-schedule.  I'll write down all of the people I would like to talk to and just call them.  That's it!  With a Blue Tooth, I can call anytime and still do normal people things and not complain about the hassle of holding my phone- truly I have no excuses at this point (aside from being at work or not hearing back from someone). 

3. Plan a road trip to break in my new car.  Complete as of March.  It feels good!

4. Try something new at least once a month.  This month I haven't tried anything new.  I still have 21 days to think of something! 

Btw- April I tried knitting.  I went out, bought bamboo sticks, a knitting book, and some sweet ass purple yarn.  I got to knitting right away and knitted a scarf while marathoning The OC.  After spending several hours knitting (and super sore fingers!), I realized that I was supposed to be counting my stitches the whole time and unraveled the scarf I had completed.  I really wish I would have taken a picture, but I didn't because I was so annoyed I just unraveled it as soon as I realized my mistake.  I haven't made another attempt since!

5. Write for fun at least once a week.  Totally happening.  I've been writing down ideas for my future classroom whenever I think of something.  Plus, there's this blog and my personal journal.  Woo-hoo, I'm not a complete failure!

Hello, May!

Weddings are one month away! 

Here's my progress with resolution #1:

Like my tan lines?

I haven't done anything really to accomplish progress; I haven't worked out or even walked the dogs!  I feel the pressure of this month's end, but it doesn't motivate me to get up off of the couch!  Plus, the heat in California lately has been killing me- whatever motivation I have in the morning is gone by the time I get home from work after spending so much time outside!

What I would really like to do is start running in the mornings.  I keep saying that I'm going to start... I actually wanted to start running in the morning as one of my resolutions two years ago... As a college student, I chose to sleep in instead! 

I haven't decided what my "something new" for May is yet.  I'm slightly out of ideas because I've been preoccupied by organizing my life in preparation for this summer in Cincinnati and Santa Cruz, immediately followed by my move to Las Vegas.  I've been thinking of trying to get 8 hours of sleep every day, or, at least 5-6 nights a week.  I cannot actually remember the last time I had 8 hours of sleep and I've heard it can be life changing, haha. 

April Catch-up

Here's a photo timeline (sorta-kinda) demonstrating what I've been up to this month!

Easter eggs mostly decorated by me!

My artwork!

My book collection!  I leveled them and put my name in each one.

We spent a Sunday afternoon in the park just reading and chillin in the grass!

Dinner @ Taka's two weeks ago (I tried some new things!)

The ring I found on the side of the street.  I took it to a jeweler and had it cleaned and fixed, now it's gorge.

A selfie I took on a day that I felt beautiful :)

I learned how to make paper planes (I downloaded an app!)

It's been a pretty productive April and I'm kinda sad it's almost over.  Allergy season has kicked in, so I'm slightly miserable, but it won't last long.  The weather at night in California is so beautiful, but I wish the days were cooler (it's already 80+ degrees outside!).  We have only gone to the gym once this month (two days ago), but I'm more motivated than I was before!

I also spent a week in Reno (substitute teaching a great class at a great school) and took a quick trip to Las Vegas for a career fair.  I feel like April is seriously flying by!

I really want to get things together!  I want to be successful in "following through" so this blog isn't some big lie.

March Resolution Update!

1.  Lose ONE pound per week.  Well... We are currently living in the 12th week of 2013, so I should have *technically* lost 12 pounds by now.  I started out at 233 (I can't find evidence of a heavier weight in previous posts, so sorry if this is inaccurate.), which means that if I followed through with resolution #1, I would weigh 221.  Is that number real?  That seems high for some reason.  Anyway, without suspense, view the pic below to see my progress.

Yep, not exactly what you would call "following through".  Looking back on the choices I've made the first three months, I really should have stuck to my guns and resisted temptation.  I need a new plan to help me actually follow through while there's still time to catch up!  I guess I'll write something about that later.  Sad face!

Current IOU amount: 14 lbs.

2.  Make a better effort to keep in touch with family/friends.   This one is personally hard to gauge.  Although I've been trying, I know that I'm not exactly doing everything that I could to make sure this is happening, so I guess it needs more work!  I have proactively purchased a plethora of birthday cards and hope to send them early/on time, instead of my norm of sending them about a week after the actual birthday.

3.  Plan a road trip to break in my new car.    DONE!!!  I wish it would have been a camping trip or a pilgrimage to the Grand Canyon, but hey- ain't nobody got time for that!


4.  Try something new at least ONCE a month (a.k.a. twelve new experiences).  Got this one in the bag, folks!  I've been trying new things like there's no tomorrow- in fact, I've already decided my 'something new' for April and I'll write about it tomorrow.  

I'd actually like to tie #1 into #4 by trying new workouts and buying more Groupons (there's always something fitness related!), but I don't always want to do some of the stuff by myself.  When I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to purchase a Groupon for some random Cross-Fit class, he just muttered "...or we could just go to the gym."  We aren't exactly regulars, but our gym SUCKS, so I don't really see what's wrong with supplementing it with some fun stuff.  No drop in classes, no stair steppers or high-tech equipment, no showers, and no cleaning materials (yeah, it's gross).

5.  Write for fun at least once a week.  Again, another fairly successful resolution.  When I'm not writing on my blog, I'm writing in my personal journal.  There was a short time between February and mid-March that I wasn't really writing, though.  No big deal!

    

On Growing Older...

It's amazing how once you get older, the reality of losing the people you love really sets in.  Although I'm grateful for the experience I've had away from home, I often feel guilty for missing out on the lives of people I love in Ohio.

My friend Larry once told me that the people who love you most understand why you aren't there if you have a purpose.  It is my fault though for not keeping in touch a lot throughout the years and the only way to repair that is by trying to be present now, even if it is only through Skype or phone calls/texting.  I'm sorry because I really care about so many people, even if I don't make it known each day.

Press 'Play'

 

I love Ra Ra Riot & this is probably my favorite song behind Oh La.  My boyfriend & I saw them in Sac (last year?) and it was one of the best concerts we've seen live.

I love this song and sometimes after not hearing it for a while, it really makes me fall back in love with Alive in Wild Paint.  They're just so mellow and I dig mellow.

 A forgotten favorite!

 

 

The XX is AMAZING live.  Treasure Island 2012- I was sad we left a little early because I had an interview the next morning & we needed to beat the shuttle rush.

Not to get mushy or anything, but I've loved this song ever since my boyfriend put it on a playlist he made for me a little while back.

This song reminds me of how irrelevant we can be sometimes (as depressing as that sounds).  It almost makes me sad because there are so many people that I love and wish I could be apart of all of their memories!  It also reminds me of people who are self-absorbed/naive... grr.

This song reminds me of how badly I want to move back home, but ironically keep moving to bigger cities. 

Let it go and LIVE!

Some people in life are so awesome and this song always makes me smile.

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!

Who's that in the mirror?

To be honest, I forget that I'm "fat" until I go clothes shopping.  Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and say, "what the heck?!" which I have to admit is making me chuckle a little right now.  I guess it's weird that I know that I'm overweight, but I can just forget.  The things normal people forget include grocery lists, taking the trash out... But me?  I forget my size. 

Sometimes I catch myself holding hangers just right so that I cover up the XL label (or sometimes XXL), especially when thin chicks are about to walk by.  I'm not sure why, but I guess it's my subconscious embarrassment taking over?  Whatever.  I have been known to mutter an expletive upon seeing a girl at the gym who is naturally thin or already fit!

Although I feel beautiful inside and out a lot of the time, I frequently think of the phrase "you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig," especially now that I've been wearing lipstick more often!  Does that mean that even though I have a decent personality/face, I'm still just fat?  Is that what defines me to some people walking around in the world today?  I'd be lying if I said I don't care, but it would also be a lie to say that I am staying up nights thinking about other people's perception of me.

All pig talk aside, I wanna get back on my health kick- March is almost over!  My I.O.U. is getting bigger by the minute and I want to see some serious progress by June 1st.  200 pounds by June 1st or BUST, baby!!!

Thoughts on Being a Better Friend

As you know, one of my resolutions this year is to become a better family member/friend.  I can't really say how I'm doing on that front, I guess this resolution has been somewhat on the back-burner the first few months.  What I can say is that I've been thinking A LOT about the friendships I have and who I am as a person and what is healthy for me in my relationships.

I'll start off what I'm trying to say by explaining that my boyfriend has incredibly good people spidey-sense.  Here is an example of what happens when we meet people together:

The day we meet someone new

BF: They suck, I don't like them.

Me: No way!  They're so nice/cool/positive-sounding-adjective

Some time in the near future

Me: You're right, they do suck.

He's not always right, but I'd say that 85% of the time, he's spot on or close.  Anyway, this matters because he's been hesitant about a friendship I've recently rekindled and has warned me about being too hasty or becoming too close.  I've kept thinking, "maybe things are different this time, maybe he's wrong about my friend" but given a recent experience, I've realized that yet again, he's right.

I have been putting a lot of energy into this friendship and have not seen that energy reciprocated until just recently when I had something this person wanted.  I would text them, they would ignore me and say "oh sorry, I never got your text because my phone is broken" and would typically blame their non-response on their phone (even after purchasing a new one) when they were ready to text me back.  At first, I understood- maybe this person really wasn't interested in being friends and hey, it's not a big deal because that's their choice.  But then, I really became a little frustrated and thought about my resolution- it's selfish for people to only communicate on their terms without considering others.

I decided to just keep trying because I wanted to be a good friend, or, at least a friendly face.  Eventually, this person sorta came around and we started spending some time together.  My boyfriend at this point is still urging me to slowly become less involved, but I'm too stubborn to listen.  ***Disclaimer: I am in no way attempting to be passive aggressive by writing this post, I'm not holding any grudges or trying to call someone on the carpet here!***  Given recent events, I had the opportunity to compare this friendship with another and realized something HUGE.

My relationship with this person mentioned throughout this post was hard, like, REALLY hard.  I felt as if I was always walking on eggshells and trying to connect with them while keeping them happy.  I could tell that trouble was a-brewin' with this person and continuously asked, "are you doing okay?" but received no verbal signs of trouble (although body language is a different story).  I was tired of exerting so much energy and I am not a mind reader- this person is the type to say that they're fine with whatever you want to do or that they're fine when actually, they mean the opposite and you get an ear full about it later (and I did).  Knowing that, you would think I'd be smart enough to do something, but I don't operate well with people who cannot speak up for themselves.

This other relationship I compared it to was essentially effortless.  This led me to really think about if the one in question was really worth it to either of us.  I realized we don't have much in common and while that's not a bad thing, it just isn't working for me in this stage of my life.  I'm not interested in getting wasted, I'm focused on being a young professional, and I am a go getter who doesn't just wait for things to happen.  I truly believe in the phrase "to each their own" because I recognize that not everyone has to have the same direction or hopes and dreams, but the people who have nothing but excuses for their lives and no apparent ambition bother me!

In order to be a better friend, I need to invest my time into people who really reciprocate the time and appreciation I dedicate towards them.  If it feels like I'm forcing it, it's not working and I need to respectfully move on.  I need to cut toxic ties and I guess I also need to listen to my boyfriend more.

Important Update!!!

I have officially completed resolution # 3 (road trip!).  I also have some more big news to share... I GOT A JOB IN LAS VEGAS!!!  More deets on that subject in another post, but until then, enjoy some photos from my recent trip.

Visiting for the weekend with Flat Joey!

A taxi cab driver protest- it was pretty cool!

I love this part of the strip at night!

My favorite thing in Las Vegas, for sure!

On the other side of the Hoover Dam.

One of the most impressive things I've seen in a long time!

Back for more...

So despite being tremendously sore today, I drove my booty back to the yoga studio.  This time I went to the "Yoga 101" class to refine my abilities and refresh my memory.  Sad thing is, I still broke a sweat and my glasses got all foggy.  I learned about why Vinyasa was so hard for me yesterday; it's a "flow" rather than an instructional session, I guess. 

I think I'm going to try Bikram next!  I actually asked the instructor about it tonight (the same guy from yesterday's class) and he basically said, "go for it!" and told me that you hold poses longer and build stamina.  LET'S DO IT!!!

Also, fyi, I'm wheatless/gluten free/starch free... I'm following the wheat belly diet and I had my first fully successful day yesterday and continued to succeed today.  I'm hoping to seriously lose some significant weight in the coming weeks!

Something New for March: Yoga!

I have totally slacked on resolution #1 in the last month, so I should issue some sort of "IOU" in the form of pounds.  I actually gained weight, but after realizing yesterday night that I weigh more than ever before in my life, I remembered my inspiration.  I have also recently found new inspiration- two weddings in June, plus a trip back home to visit family.  It's time to get my butt back into gear!

To show my renewed dedication, I woke up this morning and got dressed for the gym.  I printed the Groupon I bought in late January and drove myself to the studio after checking the schedule.  Once I arrived, although shy and a little embarrassed, I explained that I was "new" and they showed me around the studio.  I have never done Bikram, so I asked for Vinyasa thinking it would be a piece of cake- HA!

About five years and 80 pounds ago, I did yoga two to three times a week at my gym.  They were the kind of classes that played that crazy spiritual music that usually puts you to sleep at the end... Wind chimes, flutes, etc.  Eventually, I started attending the "advanced" classes and considered myself to be pretty good.  I found it to be challenging, yet relaxing.  Today I walked into the studio expecting this same skill level...  Sigh. 

Unfortunately although I attempted the full version of every pose, I was constantly looking around with a bewildered look on my face while sweating profusely.  I was not a thing of beauty, grace, tranquility, or whatever.  I was an inflexible, sloppy mess!  I had never sweat so much during yoga, but it was a 90 minute session and at the end, the instructor apologized for the heat because it was over 90 degrees in the room. 

I was reminded of my least favorite things about yoga (the weird breathing, yoga noises [saying cheesy phrases or chanting], and the "meditation" or rest at the end of the session) and also my most favorite (the feeling of "I DID IT!" or accomplishment).  Although it was super hard, I'm really excited to go back again tomorrow, this time with a towel!  I am also vowing to try Bikram before my Groupon's deal runs out!

Embarrassing Blunder

All this time I've lived my life singing "sweet sweet medicine baby" at the top of my lungs whenever Mariah Carey's Fantasy plays on the radio (obviously without knowing the song title- I learned it a few minutes ago).  A few minutes ago, I belted out the chorus only to be corrected by my boyfriend.  I insisted that I was correct and even youtube'd the Fantasy video to show him that the song he was talking about was not the same.

If you know the video, it starts out a little weird and I was continuing to insist that this definitely was not the song I was talking about.  Then, that familiar melody started playing and I was speechless. 

I remember this commercial from when I was younger...

I never thought I was one of those people!

Retail Therapy!

Reality of being an adult is setting in big time... I'm having trouble getting a job right now, which is frustrating because I bought a car in December (picture featured in the last post!) thinking I'd be making money in the near future to pay it off quickly.  My dad always used to say, "don't count your chickens before they've hatched" because I always used to plan for the future based on specific details.  In this case, I have to spend money to make money... It's not really easy to substitute teach without a car!  Some school districts are HUGE!

I had a phone interview with a district the other day and my interviewer asked, "So, uh, what exactly have you been doing since December?" and the words bounced around in my head all morning and led to me feeling a little down in the dumps.  I of course explained that my internship ended at the end of January (and I'm sure she wasn't trying to slight me, I just perseverated on the question), but it reminded me of my failure to obtain a job immediately after college.  I really cannot explain why I am so blah about not getting a job yet, it's normal for college grads to experience unemployment for a few months after graduation; heck, my boyfriend didn't find one for a year!  I'm just feeling a lot of self-generated pressure.  Plus, people around me are trying to pressure me into working in California and I just really do not want to take any more exams or jump through anymore hoops at this point.

Anyway, I had to pick some stuff up from the Galleria and wanted to have my bracelet cleaned while I was visiting.  I had two hours to kill while waiting for my bracelet, so I walked around the mall and decided to enjoy my alone time (my boyfriend was at work) and eventually resolved to treat myself to retail therapy!  Before I knew it, my jewelry pick-up time rolled around and I had to leave to beat the afternoon rush hour.

I even did something a little silly.  One thing that really excites me right now is the idea of planning a wedding.  I've actually got an insane wedding board titled "Dream Wedding" on Pinterest.  I walked into Tiffany's and looked at the engagement rings (puh-lease, I already know what I want, it was just for kicks) and then eventually walked into Alfred Angelo's across the street to browse dresses and picked up a couple catalogs.  The saleswoman at Tiffany's was so fun and so nice, it was a nice pick-me-up.  The idea of happiness is enough to brighten any gloomy day :) 

Weird Pics

I was going through my phone this morning and realized that I have a lot of random pics saved to the memory stick...  Here is some of what I found for your viewing pleasure:

Some random turkeys just chilling on our front porch...

A super tacky t-shirt found at Raley's around the Superbowl.

My awesome car!

An unsuspecting cat-lady at the SPCA caught on film loving multiple cats...

The bizarre/mysterious rash that didn't go away for 2 weeks!

On an unrelated note, tomorrow morning I have a telephone interview for a teaching position.  I'm a little nervous, but it's only scheduled for 30 minutes, so I'm not sure how grueling it will be.  Someone was telling me that I'm good over the phone... but I'm not sure if I agree!  One positive thing is that my interviewer won't be able to see me break out into a heat rash...  Wish me luck!

Getting a job related to my degree is actually one of my other resolutions, but I didn't think it was list-worthy because getting hired is out of my control.  I've been filling out applications like crazy though, so hopefully I'll find something sooner than later.

Valentine's Day (Revisted)

This post should probably be titled something like, "jkjk" because yesterday after I posted my bright and shiny entry about V-Day, I ended up having a strangely bad day.  People were driving around like morons and the roads were crowded.  Even people at Homegoods were wacko.  Eventually I just went home and didn't leave the house again after that.

My really cute card that I picked out because I wanted him to have a good day at work

It's a cat. With a heart spot!  Inside it says, "it's not hard for me to have a soft spot for you!"  Duh.

My dream necklace, seriously!  My gift from the bf.

LOL (Lots of Love)

Well, today I am going to continue pursuing my goal of becoming a better friend!  After writing this post, I'm going to head out into the big world and put together a cute little birthday package for my childhood best friend.  Her birthday is tomorrow, so of course it won't get there in time, but it's the thought that counts!  Also, I'll be mailing my cousin's birthday card (I procrastinated by accident, I swear!).

Today is Valentine's Day and I love Valentine's Day.  There are a lot of anti-Valentine's Day folks out there (maybe reading this blog right now), but let me explain to you why this day is so wonderful.  First, although this is a purely commercial holiday, I love seeing everyone express their love for someone (whether it be significant other or friend) together.  It is endearing and sweet on many levels; to think of an entire nation celebrating love when we're constantly fearing some kind of war... C'mon!  Okay, I get it, you're bitter about being lonely... Celebrate your love for anything.  Donuts, shopping, YOURSELF... You get the picture?  Celebrate love for the heck of celebrating!

From my boyfriend!

Speaking of love, some people that I love are getting married this summer and I can't wait to celebrate their love with them!  I'm going to a wedding early June and then flying home to Ohio later for another wedding.  It's got me all twitter-pated and excited for the time when I'm in their shoes!  I love love!

My very special Valentine :)

First "official" update on Resolutions!

I have totally 100% fallen off the wagon with my weight resolution.  I need to get my butt back into gear and get into the gym or go outside and get active!  I spent a week house sitting and kinda threw caution to the wind for some unknown reason and didn't get back into gear when I came back home this past Wednesday (or was it Tuesday?).  I've been thinking more and more about creating a sticker chart...  I'll print it off and show you later, dear reader.

Whenever I type "dear reader" into a blog post or write it in my personal diary, I think of this series of videos:

 
Anyway, back to my resolutions... I'm almost too lazy to constantly post updates, like once a month...  Maybe that would be helpful?  Let's do it!

 1. Lose one pound a week- slow and steady wins the race, right?  Since I have been slacking, I think I owe a few pounds.  I guess as long as I lose 50-52 pounds by January 1, 2014 I'll be satisfied.  My boyfriend's mom just made some super delicious ginger cookies, so I'll have to practice some major self-control (HA!) to lose something this week!

2. Make a better effort to keep in touch with family/friends- well, I just officially blew that a little... My cousin's birthday was yesterday and instead of getting my lazy butt off the couch and at least texting her, I watched movies... Literally all day.  I didn't even change out of my pajamas.  The steps I've taken so far:  I bought an address book, sent a Facebook message to some people aaaaaaanddddd... that's it.  I'm not too sure on what my next step should be, but I'll let you know when I find out.

3. Plan a road trip to break in my new car- no job = no money.  I'm working on a job, though, so we'll see what happens.  I've still got time!

4. Try something new at least once a month- DONE!  So easy, seriously.  I didn't realize how many new things I try on a weekly basis until I started thinking about my resolutions.  I'm not going to stop and I've decided that no matter how many "new things" I try in one month, it only counts for the month it happens in and doesn't count towards future months (it makes sense to me).

5. Write for fun at least once a week- eh.  This resolution is the least important one in my opinion, but I am keeping this blog to track my progress.

All-in-all, not bad for mid-February.  By this time of year, most people have already forgotten their resolutions.  I just need to stay motivated with #1 and think of what's next for #2. 

Last Friday Night

Every time I hear that song by Katy Perry, I can't help but smile. I'm not exactly what you would call a KP fan, but I have so many good memories attached to that song; including the story my boyfriend told me about his summer in Santa Barbara two summers ago.

It especially reminds me of my summers at CTY. Every Friday, the students would have themed dances. Just imagine the three best weeks of your life minus your parents as a thirteen year old and you'll understand! Anyway, being a resident assistant is at times stressful but really fun and through CTY I've met some pretty wonderful people. I've worked at the same site the last two years and I'm going back this summer, too...except hopefully as a senior resident assistant this year!!! My interview is on Valentines Day and I haven't told anyone because some of my friends are also returning and I don't want to be embarrassed if I don't get it!

Here's to good memories that take place every day of the week, a good attitude in the present, and optimism for the future!

TB test & Books

As part of a job requirement, I had to get a TB test this afternoon.  I visited a quickie station located inside of a Rite Aid (yeah, they still exist!) a week ago, but there were a couple of people exhibiting flu-like symptoms and I would have had to wait an hour, so I peaced out.  I finally went back to this place and it turned out to just be a different day, same story (with folks that seemed to have more mild flu-like symptoms).  So, although I was just planning on getting a ten second poke, I waited about 45 minutes.  

I planned ahead a little and brought my boyfriend and my Nook.  No, I have not finished my book about why I am a picky eater, I can't remember where I left it laying around.  I have a hard time making long-term commitments to books, so I'm not sure when/if I'll ever finish my picky eater read.  It is currently in line to be finished with The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, A Song of Ice & Fire: Storm of Swords, and some educational non-fiction books that I purchased while applying for Teach for America because I wanted to sound more pretentious and intellectual (example: Everyday Anti-racism).  

Anyway, to keep me company while waiting, I started Wheat Belly.  I've actually wanted to read this book for a little while; I first saw it at Whole Foods on some random end-cap and then I kept seeing it online and in other stores.  The cover was appealing to me and like every other American, I'm looking for some scoop on the next trend that will thin me out in the blink of an eye (hehe).

You know that old phrase, "don't judge a book by it's cover"?  Well, I totally do and will never stop.  Honestly, judging a book by it's cover has never lead to a disappointing read.

I've only read through the first chapter, so I don't have much to report.  One thing that's important to note, though, is that the author is mean.  Okay, so he's just blunt, but if you can't handle someone being raw and honest about how they perceive body image (or their perception of other people), this might not be a great book for you.  I'm going to keep reading because I'm curious and I like the way the author writes.  That's that.

Unfortunately, at this time, I have nothing to say about my resolutions!  Good day and happy reading!

Obligatory Superbowl Post

If you are an American, I'd be inclined to guess that you're going to be watching the Superbowl today.  It's like the epitome of everything American; football, over-indulging in gut-busting food, obnoxious tv commercials... Okay so I can say whether the commercials are really an "American" thing, but it is an American tradition to watch the Superbowl simply because of the commercials.  Even if you do not have any interest in the Superbowl, you are probably gearing up for the big game.

Personally, I am a Bengals fan.  I don't know the first thing about their team this year, but it's a Cincinnati team and that's all that matters.  Plus, it's my dad's favorite team and based on the rules of fandom, I'm doing what's right.  Anyway, I'm not sure anyone could ever call a Bengals fan a bandwagonner, simply because I'm not sure people would truly want to claim them (my dad calls them the "Bungles" for a reason, folks!).  Fun fact: my high school prom was held in Paul Brown stadium and it was awesome.

This Superbowl, I'm rooting for the Niners for the following reasons:

1. Colin Kaepernick- I know him! (think of Elf when you read that statement, that's how it sounds in my mind.)  We are not friends or enemies, but I have met him a few times with no significance.  We both attended the University of Nevada and as a Nevada alum, I wanna see my school shine and if somehow Kap's presence at the Superbowl makes my degree more valuable, I'm all for it!!!  
2. When I moved out west, I wanted to enjoy sports.  In Cincinnati, the only games that matter are Reds/Bengals games.  While I am still devoted to Cincinnati teams, I prefer the Giants and 49ers on the west coast.  Yeah, I'll say it- I'm a bandwagonner.  Who wouldn't want to root for the winning team for fun?  Plus, the A's have a crappy name and the Raiders are tacky on multiple levels.

In preparation for the big game, my boyfriend and I bought a huge bag of wings from Costco, some Sierra Nevada, and I'll be making Trailer Trash Dip a la Patty.   If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, it's a block of Velveta, a can of Rotel, and some spicy sausage- grab some Fritos scoops to make it tasty.  Yum!